Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Expletive Deleted

What makes a good expletive? It need not necessarily be scatological, anti-religious, or sexual. It must be monosyllabic and easily convertible to a noun, verb, adjective, or adverb. Most important, it has the same meaning to all who hear it.

I propose a new expletive for local baseball fans - "Lidge" as inspired by the Phillies closer. Sunday, the Phils overcame the heat and humidity plus a 90 minute rain delay to take a one run lead into the ninth inning. Enter Brad Lidge. He proceeded to load the bases with two walks and a hit before finally striking out the final batter. The process took 25 agonizing minutes.

I was listening to the game on the radio while walking the dog during this ordeal. The dog's ears turned red as I expounded:

"You piece of Lidge"
"Way to Lidge up that situation"
"Throw a Lidge-ing strike for Lidge's sake"

Now had the dog not been a Phillies fan and suffered with me through Lidge's travails over the past two years, these expletives would be meaningless. In fact, several dogs that we walked past scarcely turned an ear to my rant. Obviously, they were Yankee fans.

Paging Noah Webster... we have a new addition to your dictionary, Phillies Fan Edition.

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