The Ideal Sport

Higher education is a key to success in life. College graduates earn more than $1 million more than high school grads over their working lives and experience better health and more stable marriages as well. Clearly, a college education is the greatest gift a parent can bestow, but it is so damnably expensive.

College loans are available. Unfortunately repayments remain among Mom and Dad's monthly bills long after Josh and Tiffany have graduated (and probably returned home jobless to live in the basement). The best deal would be an academic scholarship. Unfortunately, Josh and Tiff really had problems with Trigonometry and their math SAT scores rule that out. That leaves us with an athletic scholarship. Sadly, Josh abandoned Youth Soccer for video games and Tiff gave up swimming when she discovered boys. That mountain of snacks and those gallons of Gatorade that Mom provided for the Youth team were for naught. Josh had two left feet anyway.

Parents of America, there is hope! Bethel University of Tennessee awarded three bass-fishing scholarships to incoming student anglers this year. Newly-hired fishing coach Garry Mason stated, "I look forward to bringing collegiate bass fishing to Bethel."

Imagine the thrill of sitting in packed stands on a crisp autumn afternoon cheeering on Josh and Tiff as they match wits with those wily bass. ""See that boy over there tying on the Rampala spinner. I taught him the underhand flip cast. That's my son!"

Football players risk concussions. Basketball players develop knee problems. The biggest problem that fishermen face is sunburn and we've got SPF 50 for that. Competitive fishing is the ideal sport and now you can get a college scholarship for it. I foresee empty soccer fields, abandoned gyms, and rusting goal posts as American youth flock to streams and lakes for serious fishing.