Monday, August 2, 2010

Bankruptcy Blues

Bankruptcy is painful. Charles Dickens wrote of the horrors of 19th century Debtors prisons. Fall behind on your mortgage or your horse-and-buggy payments and the progenitor of Citibank would swoop in for all your assets, throw you in prison, and ship your wife and kids off to the Workhouse until your debts were satisfied. Ah, the Golden Age of Banking!

Bankruptcy laws became more humane in the 20th century. You are entitled to certain "protected assets" that Citibank's Repo Man cannot touch and little Josh and Tiffany need not join Oliver Twist on the sneaker assembly line. That work is all done by kids in Cambodia and Sri Lanka anyway and they don't ask for another bowl of porridge,

Last week, the US Congress struck a blow for real Americans in these tough economic times. It approved a bill permitting individuals filing for bankruptcy to exempt up to three firearms with an aggregate value of $1,500 from creditor's claims. You can still lose your home, your car, and the clothes off your back to Citibank, but, by God, they're not getting your AK-47.

This is the same Congress that initially rejected extending Unemployment Benefits to the long-term jobless. Now, the unemployed would be wise to use that last benefit check not to pay off their mortgage or pay down their credit card bills but to buy a firearm. You can use it to shoot your own food in the nearby woods, or, for you urban dwellers, empty out the neighborhood bodega.

Interestingly, all six local Congressmen, Republican and Democrat alike, voted in favor of this bill. It is, after all, an election year and it simply would not do to anger the NRA and find oneself at the end of the line for those NRA campaign contributions.

No comments:

Post a Comment