Career Change

The Great Allentown Fair was the center of the musical universe Saturday night. Its grandstand act was none other than Justin Bieber. Will Allentown ever be the same? This is like getting the Beatles to appear at the Farmerama Theater in 1964 or Mozart to play at the Ritz Barbecue in 1780. Talk about catching musical genius at its apex.

It was even better for a fortunate few students at an Allentown Dance Studio. Two of Justin's backing dancers made a personal appearance there before the show to demonstrate their moves and answer the students' questions. Naturally, Question #1 was, "What is Justin really like?" Predictably,they revealed that the tween idol is "just a normal 16 year old who likes to hang out at the mall and play video games (in between almost nightly concerts, writing his autobiography, and making a 3-D movie)" which is pretty much what every normal 16 year old is doing nowadays.

Question #2 was "How did you get to be his backing dancers?" The lads revealed that, of course, they had to audition and interview for the job, but what Justin's management team was really looking for was maturity in his entourage. These dancers are 21 years old! That's maturity? What Justin needs in his dancers is a truly mature 62 year old like me. With baggy, saggy jeans to disguise my paunch and an oversized, straight-brim baseball cap to cover my bald spot, I'd fit right in with Justin's entourage. Plus, I haven't been carded at the beer stand in forty years. Justin, if you're reading this, I'm available.

Question #3 was, "What can I do to have the best chance at being the one that Justin picks out of the audience, goes on stage, and gets a bouquet of flowers?" The trick is to wear "a really awesome shirt. Justin likes those colorful tops." Armed with that little factoid, I'm off to Abercrombie & Fitch in search of the most colorful top I can find. When Justin picks me out of the crowd at his next concert, I'll bust a few of my moves on stage, thoroughly impress him, get hired as a backing dancer, and achieve job security until Justin's current concert tour ends or his voice changes whichever comes first.

You can't be afraid of a career change in this economy.