Why don't newspapers print "good" news? The daily litany of explosions in California, deaths in Afghanistan, and our beloved Eagles going down to injury and defeat is enough to curdle the milk over our Cheerios. Then, a plucky 14 year-old from Allentown added joy to our morning coffee.
Marlee Senderowitz is one of twenty finalists in the "Live! With Regis & Kelly Wild & Wacky Talent Contest". Marlee has won $2,500 to date and is eligible to win the grand prize of $20,000 and a lifetime supply of Trident gum. Considering that she may have 70 more years of chewing, that could be a whole lot of gum. "Congratulations on your victory, Marlee. I'll just back this tractor trailer full of gum to your garage and dump all those packs of pure breath-freshening goodness in there. You may want to invite some friends over for a chewing party if you ever want to get your car out."
And what is Marlee's Wild & Wacky Talent? It's inflating a balloon by blowing air through her nose. She has wowed her audiences at summer camp and at family gatherings. "After her sister plays 'Fur Elise' on the piano and we've hopefully digested our dessert, Marlee will blow up a balloon through her nose. Use the little brown bags alongside your seat if you feel queasy."
The Wild & Wacky Talent Competition is tough this year. Marlee's rivals include a woman who whistles with her toes (I never could master that two-fingers-in-the-mouth super-shrill whistling technique. If I'd tried two-toes-in-the-mouth, I might have had better luck.), a girl who plays the piano backwards (Big deal! That no-talent Mozart did it 200 years ago if we believe the film "Amadeus"), and an amazing basketball shooter (Amazing? Let's see him make a free throw propelling the ball from his nose).
It's up to us, Lehigh Valley. We can vote on-line to bring Marlee to victory. America no longer looks at the Lehigh Valley and thinks of Bethlehem Steel, Mack Trucks, or Dixie Cups. After Marlee's win, we will be the Wild & Wacky Talent Capital of the USA. Let's see every mile marker on Route 22 festooned with a nasally-inflated balloon. Now, that would be a "good news" story for our morning paper.
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