7-Eleven is saying thanks this Veteran's Day with free Slurpees. Active duty, retired, and veteran GIs with proof of service get a frosty treat at no charge. In fact, Slurpee trailers will visit US military bases across the country this week. "All right, Private. You will consume that Slurpee by the numbers. 1 - Insert straw; 2 - Suck deep; 3 - Freeze that pea brain of yours."
From time immemorial, veteran soldiers have informed recruits that the Army was much tougher back in the day. Those of us who served in the 60s constantly heard about "the brown shoe Army" of the 40s. "You think that crawling through mud under barbed wire with live machine gun fire over your head is tough? In the brown shoe Army, that mud had hungry alligators in it." "You complain about running a mile in combat boots with your weapon held over your head? In the brown shoe Army, you ran that mile barefoot over broken glass holding a cinder block in each hand."
Actually, today's Army does seem like a kinder, gentler organization than I remember. Drill Instructors are no longer allowed to physically or verbally abuse recruits. In my first day of Basic Training, I stopped counting after 300 push-ups assessed for such infractions as "not standing close enough to my razor" and a loose thread on a buttonhole. Verbal abuse was actually educational. I never knew that four letter words could be strung together like that.
The Army has abolished KP. Recruits no longer rise at 0330 hrs and spend 18 hours washing and scrubbing the mess hall and its appurtenances with scalding hot water and bleach. To this day, my fingers are wrinkled and ghostly white.
And now, thanks to 7-Eleven, soldiers can sidle up to the Slurpee Mobile after a tough day for a frosty treat. Our brave lads (and lasses) in uniform deserve it, but back in my day, we didn't have anything like that. We drank warm tap water with salt tablets and were happy to have it.
Brown shoe Army guys, I know what you meant. They have it too easy nowadays.
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