Disclaimers

Disclaimers are interesting. The classic, of course, is "Seek medical attention if your erection lasts four hours or more" for Cialis. How do you explain that one to your child? "Well, Timmy, those people not wearing shirts and holding hands while sitting in adjacent bathtubs located outdoors for no apparent reason may catch a cold after four hours and need a doctor."

The disclaimer for protein-booster Muscle Milk states, "Contains no milk". Actually, this disclaimer might be a ploy to enter the lactose-intolerant market. "Tired of being picked on by those milk-swigging bullies in the cafeteria? Get on the Muscle Milk regimen. You'll be a Schwarzenegger in no time and free of gastric distress in the bargain."

Then there is the print advertisement lauding Panama as a tourist destination. To allay fears of disease while in-country, Panama offers free 30-day medical insurance to visitors. Clever tourists might take advantage of this. "My rheumatism is acting up again, Clara, and our HMO doesn't cover it anymore. Let's go to Panama. I'll get treatment and you can frolic in the Canal."

"Wait a minute. Here's a disclaimer. (The medical insurance) doesn't cover injuries as a result of foreign enemy invasion (war being declared or not), civil war, revolution, rebellion, insurrection, or other incidents or offenses against the country's internal security. In other words, come to Panama to relax and to get healthy unless there's a revolution in which case, you are out of luck. Darned lawyers and their disclaimers."

Muscle Milk's disclaimer probably will increase their business. Panama's will likely scare people away. Cialis's is just odd.