Workplace Ecology

A newspaper ad from Warren County Recycling urges us to "Cut down on waste and get some extra mileage out of your holiday by packing up your post-turkey-day detritus as ecologically-sustainable workday meals". "Detritus", really? To me, detritus is the drumstick that Uncle Stanley spit out when his dentures failed. Detritus is the pumpkin pie crust that little Tiffany The Picky Eater left on her dessert plate or the stringy sweet potatoes that even the dog refused. Call me a Despoiler of the Earth, but that sort of stuff goes in the garbage.

Even good old Thanksgiving dinner "leftovers" pose a hazard when recycled into workday meals. When I began my journey through Cubicle Land in the early '70s, we either ate a cold brown-bagged lunch or departed the premises to a restaurant. Then microwaves appeared alongside the coffee, soda, and snack machines. The buttery scent of microwave popcorn would waft over the workplace. It was far more pleasing than the scent of smoldering Marlboros from the ashtray in the adjacent cubicle. (This was a lo-o-ong time ago).

Then lunchtime would arrive and the microwave would spew forth the odor from whatever Bob from Accounting couldn't finish at dinner last night. Bob was being "ecologically-sustainable" all right, but the fumes from his pork and sauerkraut leftovers overpowered not only the odiferous cloud from boss's pipe smoke but the secretary's cologne which had been known to cause the potted plants next to her desk to wilt.

Despite signs urging microwave users to clean up after themselves and the best efforts of the cleaning crew, splatter built up over time and re-cooked itself into a medley of odors. Bob's sauerkraut would combine with Chang's Chinese and Pradeep's curry residue for a "We Are The World" symphony of smells. At that point, the Marlboros weren't so bad.

I encourage our friends in Warren County to pack those "ecologically-sustainable workday meals". Just avoid pre-masticated "detritus" (You never know what caused Uncle Stanley's teeth to fall out in the first place) and please clean the microwave after use.