Career Counseling

It's not too soon for high school seniors to begin pondering career choices. Straight to the work force or to college is just part of the decision More relevant is the Ultimate Goal. Wall Street or Occupy Wall Street? Athletics or Reality TV?

Recent news reports give some direction:

Obama's Jobs Bill appears to be dead in the water. All those "Job Creators" on Wall Street can pocket their multi-million dollar holiday bonuses without fear that Uncle Sam will take a larger chunk in taxes. Let's say that the average Wall Street top executive salary with bonuses comes in at about $2 million. That's about $5,000 per day. The average Occupy Wall Street remuneration is about $0 per day. It's a tough choice, but I'll take an office on Wall Street over a spot on the pavement outside it. The pay is better.

CC Sabathia signed a contract extension with the NY Yankees granting him a $30 million average annual paycheck over the next several years. There are about 200 days in the baseball season, so CC hauls in a cool $150,000 per day. The financially-astute among us should turn in that Wall Street pinstripe suit for Yankee pinstripes. And you don't have to wear a tie to work. That makes the decision even easier.

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries split up after 72 days of marriage. Reportedly, they were paid $12 million for the televised ceremony plus $2.5 million for exclusive photos. Rounding off, Kim and Kris averaged $200,000 per day of Reality TV wedded bliss. Take that, CC Sabathia!

So there are your career choices, Youth of America, along with the training you will need:

Occupy Wall Street - $0 per day. Prerequisites - Ability to sleep on cold pavement and forage for food. Recommended Training - Army Ranger Survival School.

Wall Street Executive - $5,000 per day. Prerequisites - Lack of conscience and overwhelming greed. Recommended Training - Top-ranked business school or viewing Michael Douglas' "Wall Street" until memorized.

NY Yankee - $150,000 per day. Prerequisites - Outstanding athletic ability or a friendly pharamacist. Recommended Training - If the guys pick a girl for their team before they pick you in grade school Dodgeball, you had best become acquainted with a Dominican pharmacist. Those muscles will get you to the big leagues and "steroid rage" will be a good legal defense when you are arrested after pulverizing those grade school bullies.

Reality TV Star - $200,000 per day. Prerequisites - None really. Significant cosmetic surgery helps and a viral You Tube sex video can't hurt. Recommended Training - Are you serious?

There you have it, Youth of America. Kim Kardashian is available now as is one of her sisters. Can you put up with her for $200,000 per day?