I love pie.
Alas, in our modern health-conscious world, pies have gone low-calorie, gluten-free, high-fiber, and tasteless. The holiday issues of magazines feature recipes for pie "that is good for you". Well, that's not really pie. I want unhealthy. I want to feel the full blast of a guilty pleasure. I want to say, "I have just abused my body, gained three pounds, put myself in a sugar coma and given myself diabetes, but, by God, I loved it."
This is where fruit comes in. Be it apple, cherry, or blueberry, I can claim that amidst the sugar and spices, I did get my RDA of Vitamin C and anti-oxidants. When I am wheeled into the ER for a jolt of insulin, I will be clear-eyed and wrinkle-free.
Furthermore, purist pie lovers reject "ice cream on the side", whipped cream, or, horror of horrors, artificial whipped toppings. Do connoisseurs of single malt Scotch mix it with ginger ale before tasting? Do wine snobs add club soda before sipping? Real pie is best eaten "straight"..
The final qualification for real pie is how it tastes "the morning after". If a slab of last night's pie straight from the refrigerator makes the best breakfast you've ever had, that is real pie. Let's see some Ladies Home Journal low-calorie gluten-free abomination pass that test.
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