Ahead of Their Time

Today's newspaper cites fake mustaches as a hot trend for 2010. An on-line marketplace features more than 1,800 items showcasing the 'stache. Hipsters are forming Fake Mustache Clubs. Playful wedding portraits feature group shots of the bridal party resembling a "Magnum PI" Convention. Young women are lining their forefingers in permanent ink, holding said fingers above their lip, and "giggling and laughing our heads off" according to the newspaper article.

They say that fashion is cyclical and the female mustache appears to be on a 60 year cycle. Apparently, the grandmothers of Scranton, PA were ahead of their time. Scranton back in the 1950s was, to put it mildly, ethnically diverse. Many of my friends' grandmothers had immigrated from "the old country" and found American ideals of female grooming somewhat less important than establishing a home, raising a family, and hauling their husbands home from the neighborhood bar on payday.

Once the estrogen stopped flowing, many "omas", "nanas", and "babushkas" developed mustaches and kept them. I fondly remember being tickled by my grandmother's mustache. If that failed to raise a giggle from her grandchildren, she also had a set of ill-fitting dentures. When she quickly opened her mouth, they would slip from her gums and clatter together. Top that for a means of amusing a baby, Fisher-Price!

My parents' generation was, of course, totally Americanized. No men other than Clark Gable sported a 'stache and young women in the 1940s and 50s even shaved their eyebrows. As grandmotherly mustaches disappeared from the American scene, ADHD and other juvenile disorders flourished. Coincidence? I think not. Give an infant a good belly tickle with nana's mustache and you can put away the Ritalin. The child will feel loved.