High School Rodeo Musical

The Pennsylvania State High School Basketball Championships were televised this past weekend on the state cable network. The telecasts included a commercial offering a DVD of this year's Pennsylvania Farm Show.

What do I need with a DVD showing prize cattle, sheep, baked goods, and the World's Largest Butter Sculpture, you may ask. Well, there's a lot more to the PA Farm Show than that! The video featured the ever-popular "Sheep to Shawl" Contest wherein sheep are sheared, the wool is spun and treated, and nimble-fingered youth knit a shawl before our very eyes. The winner is chosen on the basis of speed and artistic impression, not unlike Olympic skating. Since the Farm Show takes place in January, one hopes that the shawl is returned to the now-naked sheep or we've got frozen lamb chops on the hoof.

A recent addition to the Farm Show line-up is the Tractor Square Dance. John Deeres, International Harvesters, and the like literally take to the enormous Arena floor and perform "dosey-dos" and "swing your partners" at the command of a caller. The short video clip did not show the tractors in those frilly skirts and sensible shoes favored by human square dancers, but they may be there anyway. If third-rate celebrities can arouse the public's interest on "Dancing With The Stars", imagine the "water cooler talk" after a Cub Cadet in a slinky outfit wows the judges.

The DVD also features the High School Rodeo wherein Pennsylvania youth ride bulls and rope calves just like their Western brethren. Disney struck gold with "High School Musical", but it is time for an update. Why not "High School Rodeo Musical"? It is the story of star-crossed lovers who meet at the PA Farm Show. He is a champion bull rider who secretly yearns to knit raw wool shawls. She has devoted her young life to her square-dancing tractor but the exhaust fumes cause a reverie in which she learns the secret to sheep shearing. He is thrown from his bull. Her tractor breaks down in the middle of a warm-up cha-cha. At this nadir, they find each other and after the requisite romantic duet, they steal a sheep from the rich, obnoxious kids, enter the Sheep to Shawl Contest, win, and join in the rousing finale wherein the rich, obnoxious kids see the error of their ways, the bull hoists the guy onto his back for a celebratory trot around the Arena floor, and the girl's tractor roars back to life.

Is that the perfect Disney movie, or what?