The World's Largest

Reading billboards is a great way to combat boredom while driving across our fair Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. Billboards also reveal much about the area being traversed (and whether it is entirely safe to stop there for a fueling, lunch or bathroom break). A rural section between Harrisburg and the Lehigh Valley must be the Sheepskin Capital of America. Billboards encourage motorists to pause for those sheepskin seat covers or sheepskin-lined jackets and slippers that we never before realized that we needed. It might not be a good place to let Fluffy, your pet bichon out for a walk though.

Between the tunnels west of Harrisburg was a billboard reading, "Where's The Birth Certificate?" One would not expect much roadside assistance on your elitist hybrid car with the Obama bumper sticker there.

Near Bedford, PA, a billboard shows George Washington in full uniform and states, "Washington slept here. Why don't you?" Presumably, accomodations are improved since 1756 when George passed through on his way to oust the French & Indians from Fort Duquesne, but why take the chance?

The most memorable billboard was near New Stanton. It showed a variety of McDonald's products and proclaimed, "Stop In and See the World's Largest Big Mac". I was sorely tempted. After all, how often does one get to see The World's Largest Anything?

How big was it? I envisioned a Big Mac large enough for children to climb on and bounce on the soft bun. How many gallons of Special Sauce adorned it? I imagined sauce cascading down its sides and children frolicking in sauce pools alongside. Were there mutant giant sesame seeds on the bun? Where can you get pickles the size of a mattress? Would I be allowed to nibble on the two all-beef patties? What joy to literally bury my head into cooked meat and munch away until I couldn't breathe!

Alas, by the time my reverie concluded and I removed the strands of drool from my shirt front, I had passed the exit. My encounter with the World's Largest was not to be. I'll be back, New Stanton!