A police blotter item from last week struck my attention. "A woman pushing a stroller with her baby inside down a Slatington sidewalk Thursday afternoon was so drunk, police said, that she was charged with endangering the welfare of the child. A blood test found the 37 year old woman had a blood alcohol level of 0.399 percent."
The legal limit for intoxication while driving is 0.008 percent which supposedly corresponds to two drinks within the previous hour for an average-size adult. If true, the Slatington woman tossed down ten drinks in an hour (one every six minutes) and then decided to pack the baby up for some fresh air (or possibly to pick up more booze).
Unquestionably, this woman posed a hazard to the sober, law-abiding stroller pushing matrons of Slatington. The time has come for Slatington's Finest to establish DUI checkpoints on its sidewalks. "Please pull that stroller over ma'm. License, registration and proof of insurance please. I must ask you to push your stroller in a straight line one foot in front of the other. Pick up your baby's pacifier, close one eye, extend your arms, and insert the pacifier in your mouth. Sorry, m'am. You've failed the test. We have to impound your stroller and take you and the baby downtown."
While most of us are well past our stroller-pushing days and feel we can down ten drinks per hour with impunity, we still push carts down the aisles of our local supermarkets. Imagine the embarassment of being pulled over in the produce aisle and suffering through a sobriety test, not because you were drinking, but because you chose that damn cart with the wobbly wheel.
It started on the sidewalks of Slatington. Next thing you know, our intrusive government will be hassling law-abiding Americans at the Wal-Mart deli counter. I'm sure that Fox News will be all over this threat to our rights.
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