Thursday, August 4, 2011

Contract With Fido

"Humans are failed dogs" is the refrain of dog people. Dogs exhibit the loyalty and eagerness to please that we wish we could find in our fellow homo sapiens. Fido may soil the carpet, wake us in the middle of the night for no apparent reason, and frighten Aunt Ida by leaping on her, but that is all due to his genetic stamping as a "pack animal seeking an alpha hound to submit to". Thank you, "Dog Whisperer" Cesar Millan for explaining that. What's your address, Cesar? I've got a rug cleaning bill to send to you.

Dog people have actual scientific research to fortify their claim of canine superiority over other pets. According to the most recent issue of The New Yorker, cats, birds, miscellaneous rodents and other "intelligent animals" along with dogs were presented a Deduction Problem. A treat vanishes into one of two boxes. Which box holds the treat? All except the dogs solve the problem by watching where the treat goes. Only Fido keeps his eye on the human and goes to the box that the human seems to favor even if he has seen the treat go into the other box. The conclusion is that dogs are hypersensitive to even the slightest favoring actions of their owner. "This is the ancestral bet that dogs made millenia ago. Give up trying to prey on the prey. Try pleasing the people and let them get the prey." Even if the prey that humans get for you is Old Roy kibble from Wal-Mart.

The New Yorker article ends, "(The dog) waits by the door for the next member of the circle she has insinuated herself into to come back to the hearth and seal the social contract common to all things that breathe and feel and gaze - Love given for promises kept. How does anyone live without a dog? I can't imagine."

I wholeheartedly agree even when picking up that sloppy mound of feces from the neighbor's lawn. That's part of the contract, too.

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