Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Metaphysical Traffic Signs

Metaphysics attempts to explain the fundamental nature of being and of the world. "Why are we here? and "Where is here anyway?" are metaphysical questions that have been pondered since primitive man first gathered around a campfire and most recently as I drove up from Maryland yesterday.

Nearly every bridge on the road was preceded by a sign stating "CAUTION, Bridge May Freeze". How metaphysical would it be to follow that sign with another reading, "But Then Again It May Not". There, Little Grasshopper, is the very definition of the duality of existence. If a bridge freezes and no one is there to skid across it, does it make a sound? What is the sound of one bridge abutment freezing?

We can and must bring metaphysical discussion to our automobiles by erecting metaphysical-response signs along our roadways:

"STOP" "But Do We Exist Without Motion To Define Us" (or "In The Name of Love" for non-metaphysical Oldies fans)

"YIELD" "By Yielding Do We Prove Ourselves Inferior or Superior?"

"SPEED LIMIT 65" "Are There Limits to Love? To Other Emotions? How Then Can We Limit Physical Things Like Speed?"

If nothing else, the metaphysical response signs will form a basis for discussion when the State Trooper pulls you over for a traffic violation.

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