The Perfect Tease

The local newscast is a cash cow for TV stations. The tried and true means to retain viewers after the 10 PM network showing of "Law and Order - Something or Other" (This week, the team puts aside the sexual tension between its attractive members who resemble no policepersons and DAs that ever existed to solve yet another crime ripped from the fears and anxieties of today's headlines and/or urban myths) is a 10 second local news teaser. The camera pans to the well-coiffed lead newscaster who solemnly intones:

"Tonight at 11, what you NEED to know about (fill in the blank)", or

"Tonight at 11, what the big (fill in the blank) companies DON'T WANT you to know about (fill in the blank)", or,

"In a world where passions run rampant and nothing is the way it seems, MGM presents the cinematic achievement of the year!" Well, maybe not this one.

Last night, the news teaser on Channel 10, repeated every half hour, was, "Tonight, what you NEED to know before you go for a root canal." This was the perfect tease. The thousand or so Philadelphians scheduled for a root canal the next day would certainly suffer through an hour of Jay Leno and stay up past 11 PM so they can intelligently criticize their dentist's technique.

As for the rest of us, who knows when a root canal may be required? Forewarned is forearmed! So I lose a little sleep, I NEED to know.

From Channel 10's perspective, the root canal bit is innocuous enough to keep viewers watching "The Office" and away from 24 hour cable news.

Had the teaser been, "What you NEED to know about the Islamofascist terrorists in the basement of your kid's school", remotes would instantly click to Fox News. Had the teaser been, "What you NEED to know about Lindsay Lohan and Bigfoot's love child", E!'s ratings would instantly skyrocket and no one would wait for Channel 10's reportage at 11.

Perfection is rare and to be cherished. Good job, Channel 10.