The Navy Gets The Gravy

The old marching songs goes:

"Oh, the Navy gets the gravy.
But the Army gets the beans."

This has some basis in fact. In July, 1971, we proud soldiers of the 802d Engineer Battalion rode into the US Navy's base near Pusan, Korea to drive some piles for a new pier. Our "host" unit was responsible for feeding us. We had just finished building a helipad on a lonely mountaintop for the US Army Air Defense Artillery where we subsisted on "potted meat product". Before that, we built ammo bunkers for the Korean Army and were fed rice with mystery meat. Anything the Navy put on our plates would be an improvement.

Imagine our surprise when we lined up for breakfast and were asked how we would like our eggs. The Navy cooks were Masters of the Spatula. Golden yolks shone on "sunny-side up". Scrambled eggs were spongy and delicious. Even poached and soft-boiled eggs were available. Having subsisted on standard Army issue powdered eggs that turned an unappetizing green when cooked, we felt that we were in heaven.

We learned three lessons:

1. The Navy assigns its best people to become cooks. They feel that good food boosts morale. It certainly worked for us.

2. You can tell a lot about a guy's personality by his egg choice. Scrambled egg aficionados are hard-charging, no-nonsense types. "No time to sop up yolk with toast. I've got a mission to accomplish." Sunny-side up fans and, to a lesser extent, over-easy guys are less impulsive. "I'll take the time to absorb the full experience of this breakfast. I evaluate all alternatives before I decide on a course of action." Then there is the poached egg contingent. "Oh, for a slice of Canadian bacon and a bit of Hollandaise. What sacrifices I make in the service of my country." Last, we have the soft-boiled egg group. "This egg was boiled for more than 3 minutes! It is going solid! Off to the brig with you, Cook" One imagines Admiral Halsey was a soft-boiled egg man, precise and disciplined.

3. As dumb as we would look in those funny white Popeye hats, we would be better off (or better-fed anyway) in the Navy.