The Golden Rule, Business Version

In the business world, the Golden Rule is, "He who has the gold rules." The best parking spot, nicest rest room and biggest expense account go to the corporate CEO.

Even among corporations, those with the gold rule. Fiat swallowed up Chrysler who swallowed up American Motors who swallowed up Jeep all because they had more cash in the bank at the time.

On the "Today Show", a financial reporter noted that Apple has more cash in the bank this morning than the US Treasury. If the Golden Rule holds, Apple could take over the Federal government. Steve Jobs would be our new President and a new Era of Corporate Accountability would reign. Things would change:

1. Black turtlenecks and jeans would replace business suits with American flag lapel pins as the uniform for our national leaders.

2. The US Postal Service would be scrapped in favor of gmail for everyone.

3. Secret Service agents could finally reveal that those earphones they have been wearing for years are actually hooked up to their iPods.

4. Falling behind on your payments to the IRS? There would be an "app" for that on your iPhone. It would transmit excruciating noise into your ear until you paid up.

5. Questioning your Social Security payment? The iTunes Store would offer 99 cent downloads of your records.

6. Having trouble wading through the 2000+ pages of the new Health Care Law? It would be downloaded onto every iPad for quick and easy reference. Enter "Death Panels for Granny" under Frequently Asked Questions and you will know how soon that inheritance will be on its way.

The Golden Rule, Business World Version, is cruel, but necessary. When a corporation starts going broke, it dies or gets new management. You don't see Consolidated Buggy Whips or Universal Rotary Dial Phones around any more, but Lee Iacocca saved Chrysler back in the 70s.

Now the Federal government is going broke. Maybe Steve Jobs can save it. Maybe we'll all get a free iPad.