The latest in Toilet Paper Technology is the spool-less roll. No longer will our landfills be clogged with those nasty cardboard spools. The new technology will also be a boon for future archaeologists. "Clearly this landfill dates back to pre-2011, Dr. Jones. It is full of toilet paper spools. No need to do carbon-dating."
Toilet Paper Technology has made great strides during my lifetime. Modern youth cannot recall the dark days before "squeezable Charmin". TP was not always so good.
During the Viet Nam Era, we soldiers in the field subsisted on "C Rations". Each "meal" included a canned entree (Scrambled eggs in a can? Blecch), a canned dessert (usually non-meltable chocolate that was also non-edible), canned crackers, instant coffee, a mini-pack of cigarettes and a wad of, you guessed it, toilet paper. The "meals" came in cardboard boxes stamped with a "packing date". The "packing date" was usually sometime during WWII which made the food we were eating older than we were.
Nature eventually took its course and we had to use the toilet paper. The problem was that WWII era TP not only lacked "squeezable softness" but it often contained wood chips causing abrasions on a portion of our bodies that should not be abraded.
The spool-less roll is all well and good, but the greatest advancement in Toilet Paper Technology was the elimination of wood chips. Bless those TP Tech pioneers!
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