Fargo, Transylvania

Our beloved Lafayette Leopard gridders had best be checked for puncture wounds in the neck and aversions to sunlight, crucifixes, and holy water. Commentary during Saturday's webcast of their 42 - 6 loss at North Dakota State shows stunning parallels between the Leopards' trip to Fargo and Jonathan Harker's ill-fated journey to Transylvania in the original "Dracula":

1. North Dakota State provided the charter flight for the Leopards. It took them direct to Fargo thus avoiding commercial airline weather delays. Count Dracula provided the coach that delivered Harker direct to his castle despite storms and miscellaneous flying bats and howling wolves.

2. ND State fed the Leopards and put them up in cozy rooms upon their arrival. Drac did the same for Harker. Was the Fargo dining room dusty from lack of use and did the doors unlock only from the outside? "It's for your safety, Leopards. Ve don't vant you vandering these dangerous halls at night. Bwahh-ha-ha-ha."

3. According to the Lafayette webcast team, the streets of Fargo empty after dark on football nights "because everyone goes to the game." When Harker stopped at that Transylvanian Inn, he was warned not to go out after dark for fear of the undead. "Darn it, Margie! I'm tired of spending every night locked up in our house. Let's join the crowd headed for the football game. The vampires will only pick off the weak and infirm from our pack."

4. The Leopards put up quite a fight early trailing only 0 - 7 with a minute left in the first half. Harker also resisted the blandishments of the Count for a while. Bloodsucking took its toll in both the game and in the novel though. "There's all kinds of stuff going on in those pile-ups after tackles. The Leopards seem to be weakening."

5. After the game, the Lafayette gridders were unceremoniously loaded onto a night flight that returned them to Easton around 3 AM. The blood-drained Harker was likewise shunted to the castle's dungeon never again to see the light of day.

Santayana famously noted, "Those who fail to learn the lessons of history are doomed to repeat it." Had the Leopards studied Bram Stoker's "Dracula", they would never have journeyed to Fargo.

On a positive note, Lafayette's next game is a night contest. Look out, Georgetown. These Leopards are now much stronger in the dark.