Ration Cards Rule

With the War in Libya winding down, US Congressmen are now concerned about retrieving the firearms that magically appeared in the hands of the rebels. All the weapons that someone with the cryptic initials "C.I.A." handed out to the Afghani mujaheddin when they fought the Russians and to the Iraqi Army when they fought Iran ended up being used against us. So much for gratitude. They didn't even send a thank-you note.

Fortunately, the US military has a proven means to prevent Black Market re-sale of strategic items - the Ration Card. Every GI stationed in Korea back in my day received that precious card each month. The PX clerk punched the appropriate box every time we purchased:

1. Liquor. This was limited to five "fifths" per month at $0.90 to $3.00 tax-free and the Army wondered why it had an alcohol problem.

2. Beer or soda. Beer was cheaper than Coke, $2 vs. $2.50. Running low on money this month, soldier? Drink Schlitz instead of Pepsi.

3. Cigarettes. We could only purchase five cartons per month at $2.00. This came to nearly two packs of butts or about $0.30 per day. Fortunately, medical care for lung cancer was free!

4. Hand Moisturizing Lotion. Are your hands rough and red after scrubbing pots all day on KP duty? Buy Jergen's Lotion for quick relief.

Actually, the Hand Moisturizer was a bigger item on the Black Market than booze, beer, or butts. After the first of the month when new ration cards were issued, the PX's stock of Jergen's would magically find its way to the shops in the village just outside the post gate. Considering that outdoor, cold water bathing with lye soap was common in rural Korea in those days, moisturizing lotion was a hot seller.

Why not issue ration cards to weapons-seeking insurgents?

"You've come to the right place, Abdullah. The CIA Weapons Superstore has everything you will need to overthrow that dictator who we used to support but don't like anymore. Our 2011 model weapons are a lot better than the 1995 model weapons that we gave to him. Just ask Saddam what happened when our 2003 tanks from George Bush's War came up against our 1980s model tanks that we gave him for the Iran - Iraq Conflict.

One thing, though. Here's your Ration Card. You can only buy 5,000 assault rifles at a time. Come back next month and you'll get a new card for 5,000 more unless, of course, you've turned Radical Islamist. In that case, we want all our guns back."

It worked for Jergen's Lotion. It's got to work for AK-47s.