Rivals

As a Lafayette guy, hatred toward Lehigh is embedded in my very DNA. It is not necessarily rooted in the fact that Lehigh has thumped us in football for the vast majority of the 45 games since I matriculated on College Hill. (Doesn't "matriculate" sound like advice from "Cosmopolitan". "The key to simultaneous orgasms is five minutes of mutual matriculation")

It is Lehigh's superior attitude that gets my goat. When I wrote letters to both Lehigh and Lafayette requesting admissions applications, Lafayette quickly responded with a cover letter addressed to "Mr Edward Dufton" marking the first time I had ever been addressed as such. Lehigh sent me a brochure titled "Are You Really Sure You Want To Go To College?" and promised an application later. "Sure, Lehigh. I'll just work at the Car Wash after high school graduation until I get drafted. I'd much rather dodge bullets around a rice paddy than catch flying beer at a Lehigh fraternity party."

Lehigh's superior attitude has not waned in the 21st century. In today's newspaper, football Coach Andy Coen took a shot at first game opponent Monmouth."We know some guys on their team through recruiting. They are guys who may not have fit academically here, but are thriving there. They are going to be a very physical football team."

In other words, "We know their players. They are dumb and play dirty. They couldn't cut it here academically, but will probably be Phi Beta Kappas there. It's a game between guys who have passed Calculus and guys who can't even spell it."

Guess which team I will be rooting for come Saturday?