Cool Ducks

The University of Oregon has the coolest football program ever. Its team is good, but what makes the Oregon Ducks stand out are their uniforms, their cheerleaders, their 4th quarter fan tradition, and especially their band. When your mascot is a sailor cap-clad Donald Duck look-alike, you've got to do something special to strike fear into the hearts of your opponents.

The Ducks took the field in yesterday's Rose Bowl wearing translucent reflective helmets that would not be out of place on the command deck of the Starship Enterprise. "Beam me to the end zone, Scotty." Oregon's uniforms featured a different color scheme for each game this year, but they saved the space age helmets for the Rose Bowl.

Oregon's cheerleaders are on scholarship. Other colleges go with the traditional pleated skirt, letter sweater, build a human pyramid concept of cheerleading. Oregon follows the NFL concept of scantily-clad dancers on the sidelines doing routines that would not be out of place at a "gentlemen's club". While scholarship football players are enrolled in Remedial Reading (of Defenses) 101, the scholarship cheer-babes are probably taking Music Appreciation 401 - The Proper Dance Moves to "Pour Some Sugar On Me".

Oregon's Rose Bowl opponent, Wisconsin, has a cool tradition - the 4th Quarter Jump-Around. As the teams switch ends of the field to begin the final stanza of the game, the Wisconsin band plays House of Pain's "Jump Around". Badger fans rise as one and pogo enthusiastically. Oregon did the Badgers one better in the Rose Bowl. The sound system blared the Isley Brother's "Shout" and Duck fans did the whole shimmy and raise hands in the air bit. I'm showing my age here, but I never heard of "Jump Around" and pogoing would send me to the orthopedist. On the other hand, "Shout" is the anthem of my generation and as they used to say on American Bandstand, "It's got a good beat and you can dance to it." Big picture, even middle-aged Duck fans can participate in the 4th quarter tradition.

Then there is the Oregon band. 90% of college marching bands are clad in uniforms featuring a buttoned-on bib in front (Do they serve lobster for the post-game meal?) with a plumed, inverted trashcan hat that hearkens back to Santa Ana's army storming the Alamo. Stanford and the Ivy League bands go with blazers, un-matched pants, and zany accouterments that scream "My Dad has enough money to send me here, so I can get away with this."

The Oregon band wear pullovers in the school colors and baseball caps. It's always Casual Friday here in the Land of Nike. Duck band members can walk to practice in uniform and not get mocked by the cool kids. "Hey, the War of 1812 is over. Put your uniform away, Winfield Scott."

By the way, Oregon won the Rose Bowl. Coolness triumphs!